


Thanks

by sunflowerwonder



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cybersex, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, F/M, Femdom, Friends With Benefits, a really really lonely submissive dirk, but mostly awkward teens attempting to cyber, descriptions of some intense sexual stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 16:55:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerwonder/pseuds/sunflowerwonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TT: (Jane I have no idea how you can be a dominatrix and a goddamn Bible Betty at the same fucking time. Choose a side.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thanks

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic doesn't exist I didn't write this you're just imagining it because this ship is seriously deprived of smut don't look at me like that I would never write such salacious things stop.
> 
> Uh warnings for some intense sexual fantasizing, D/s, and Dirk potentially still being gay just in case you're not down with that. Mostly just Dirk and Jane joking around though.

\--timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]\--  
TT: Yo, Crocker.  
GG: Well hello there!  
TT: Hey. What's up with the greatest gal on the greater west side of the United States?  
GG: Not much, actually. A bit tired. Unlike you I hardly ever have the alertness to work on projects and such when the stars are awake!  
GG: Speaking of, it's rather late for you, isn't it? Even for someone with such a reputation for a positively botched sleeping schedule.  
TT: Sorry. Were you sleeping?  
GG: I'm afraid not.  
TT: You okay?  
GG: A little stressed. Everyone's been a little too demanding today and frankly I'm quite pent up.  
GG: You can bet your boonbucks I'll be bright as a daisy by tomorrow though!  
TT: That's right. You've got some sort of farcical Crocker Corp heiress happening of the potentially boring kind.  
GG: Don't reduce my speech to such a rubbish description!  
TT: A speech huh. Well I suppose I can put aside my distaste and general unfavorable opinion of your asshole company to wish you luck.  
TT: I'm sure you'll do great.  
GG: Thank you!  
GG: ...I think.  
GG: Now did you need something? It's hardly ever that I'm graced with the presence of a Strider at such an hour!  
TT: Oh. It's nothing really. Just checking in with you.  
TT: But I mean obviously you're busy.  
TT: You know, the sleep thing and all. It's important.  
TT: Not that I would know of course, but its notability as a contribution to the betterment of the human species remains.  
TT: Did you know the average high school student needs nine and a half hours of sleep a night? For me that's a lot of wasted internet browsing time, but hey, whatever floats your metaphorical sleep-boat.  
TT: Only 8% of those kids actually obtain that much anyway so clearly these human representational statistics are on the same mindset as me.  
GG: Strider.  
TT: Did you know a human can only go for eleven days without sleep? That's the world record at least.  
GG: Strider!  
TT: Jane you should help me break the record. Seriously I bet I could smoke that motherfucker into the ground and have myself a good old-fashioned insomniatic Texas barbecue.  
GG: STRIDER.  
TT: Alright, alright. What is it?  
GG: You're rambling again.  
TT: Jane, I am not rambling. I am plotting my entrance as the first post-apocalyptic boy in the Guinness book of world records. This is fuckin' serious.  
GG: This is not serious and you're clearly just trying to steer the conversation as far away as possible from the fact that you wanted to ask me to get you off!  
TT: I am not.  
TT: I did not.  
GG: Regardless, Strider. You're not as opaque as you front yourself to be.  
TT: Jane, we agreed that was like a two time thing. We did it and it's done and we won't speak of it again.  
TT: It was like a one night stand.  
TT: Only instead of taking home a stranger to some crusty motel with questionable stains on the sheets I got you to theoretically have sex with me over the internet.  
TT: Twice.  
TT: Okay not really like a one night stand.  
TT: Fuck.  
GG: For goodness gracious almighty's sake do you want to cyber or not.  
TT: You need to sleep.  
GG: I NEED to blow off some steam.  
TT: Jane.  
GG: Don't talk back to me, buster!  
GG: You want to be a good boy, don't you? Only good boys get to come.  
TT: I  
TT: Fuck.  
TT: Crocker, c'mon. We can do this when you don't have an important speech in the morning that I'm pretty sure has nothing to do with your obvious master's degree in dirty talk.  
GG: Shut up, Dirk.  
TT: I'm serious.  
GG: I told you to cease your meaningless rambles. Are you going to obey me or not?  
TT: Jane, I don't  
GG: Hm? I'm waiting. You should know by now not to make an heiress wait.  
TT: ...  
TT: Alright fine.  
TT: But if you're dead tired tomorrow it is not my fault. I'm serious Jane the last fucking place anyone wants to be is on the short end of an irritable Crocker stick.  
GG: Your constant jibjabberings are amusing at best and obnoxious at worst.  
GG: There's a reason you look best with a dick shoved down your throat.  
TT: Oh my god.  
GG: (Goodness I'm so sorry. Too strong?)  
TT: (No way. Perfect.)  
GG: (Shit, Strider. You know I'm new at this.)  
TT: (Are you kidding that was damn sexy.)  
GG: (Well then! Uh... Thanks, I suppose. It seemed more demeaning than anything but I guess it will do.)  
TT: Do you really think I look best that way, Crocker? I have been told that it's one of my better angles.  
GG: Certainly. Your blatant sarcasm aside, of course. You can be punished for that later.  
GG: Currently I'm rather curious to know if you're thinking about certain unmentionable male anatomy right now, Dirk. I bet you are. Simply scandalous.  
TT: And what if I am?  
GG: Well I certainly wouldn't put it past the likes of you.  
GG: Careful, Dirk. One of these days you'll let it slip about how much of a whore you really are.  
TT: Fuck.  
GG: (Please, please tell me if I've gone too far! I don't want to make you uncomfortable.)  
TT: (Jane I have no idea how you can be a dominatrix and a goddamn Bible Betty at the same fucking time. Choose a side.)  
GG: (Sorry! I'll stop with the silly parenthesis.)  
TT: (No you don't have to I. Please don't feel bad just. Fuck. Keep going.)  
GG: (Okay. Okay, don't worry. I've got this! Possibly.)  
GG: Are you touching yourself now?  
TT: ...Yes.  
GG: I bet you started before didn't you? Before you realized you could come to me? That I would be able to solidify all your submissive little fantasies?  
GG: You really are desperate, Dirk.  
GG: Go ahead and say it.  
TT: I, I'm  
GG: Say it. Out loud. I know your pointlessly pointy shades will recognize your voice. They're handy little doodads, aren't they? I can read each and every little vocalization you make, and you don't even have to lift a finger.  
GG: Say it.  
TT: I'm desperate.  
GG: Louder.  
TT: I'm desperate!  
GG: I'm sure you are, but some evidence to back up your claims would be lovely.  
GG: Stop touching yourself.  
TT: Do I,  
TT: Do I have to?  
GG: Again with that nonsense-spiller of yours. Hands off, Mr. Strider. I need to know how much you really want it.  
TT: Fuck, Jane. I want it. I want it so much you have no idea.  
TT: Please I just need you, anyone, to touch me. Let me put my hands back. Please.  
GG: No.  
GG: Tell me one thing though, Strider. Where are you?  
TT: ...I'm laying on my bed.  
GG: Writhing and needy, no doubt. Hands desperately trying to give you some relief, but you won't succumb to such trivial urges, will you?  
TT: No. I won't.  
GG: Such self control is an admirable trait, Dirk. Let's see if we can break it.  
GG: Beg for me. Tell me what you want done to you. How you want to be fucked, because you should know better than anyone that you want to be.  
TT: Oh fuck yes.  
GG: Please elaborate, Dirk. I'm so very curious.  
TT: I want someone to touch me, hold me down, fuck me, let me suck them off, I don't care.  
TT: FUCK.  
TT: Just someone I can feel above me, someone I can squirm under, anyone fucking please just let me have someone.  
TT: Jane, please. Can I touch. You have no goddamn idea how hard I am right now.  
GG: I can imagine.  
TT: JANE.  
GG: Alright. Good boy. If you feel so inclined, you may.  
TT: Fuuuck yes.  
GG: Just keep in mind that if you come before I say so there will be severe consequences, mister!  
GG: Now go ahead. Tease yourself.  
TT: Nng.  
GG: What was that? Is someone getting loud enough to be picked up by his microphone? We're making quite some progress, Strider.  
GG: I'm actually getting off at the sheer thought of you being desperate beneath me, struggling to silence your moans.  
TT: ...  
GG: Don't hold back on my behalf. I want to hear what you'd sound like when you're fucked into the mattress. Or in the shower. Maybe you just want to be shoved up against a wall with a knee against your dick.  
TT: Hmnnn!  
GG: Or then again maybe you want to be bent over a couch and fucked ruthlessly, moaning around fingers shoved in your mouth. Would you like that, Mr. Strider?  
TT: Holy shit, Jane.  
GG: Was that a yes?  
TT: Y-yes. Hell yes.  
GG: If we ever get to meet maybe I'll invest in a strap-on, and you can show me exactly how loud you moan.  
TT: Jane please-!  
GG: You can grab it fully, Strider. Thrust like you're going to come into my hands.  
TT: Jane, I can't-  
GG: Come for me.  
\--timaeusTestified [TT] disconnected!--  
GG: Strider?  
\--timaeusTestified [TT] reconnected!--  
GG: Dirk?  
GG: Is everything okay?  
TT: Yeah.  
TT: Yeah, it's all good.  
GG: Are you sure?  
TT: Totally. Sorry, my glasses got displaced when I, well,  
TT: Finished.  
GG: ...I see.  
GG: So, um, it was good then?  
TT: It definitely made its way into my top five orgasms ever.  
GG: Was I good? Not too dramatic? Not like I watch too many untasteful videos unbeknownst to the suspicious nose of my watchful father?  
GG: As long as I was better than that disastrous first time I suppose it doesn’t matter.  
TT: Jane you were perfect.  
TT: You still are perfect.  
TT: Thanks.  
GG: Well shucks that's quite the compliment! Glad to be of assistance. :B  
TT: It's just nice to lose the control sometimes, you know.  
TT: I hope it helped you some too. I mean, this shit is what you like, right?  
TT: Wait, fuck.  
TT: Have you gotten off?  
GG: Uh, not exactly!  
GG: But I enjoyed servicing you a lot. I am truly an excellent host, you know. It comes with the heiress title.  
TT: Shit, I'm sorry. I am the worst fucking cyber partner ever.  
TT: Here, tell me what you want to do to me. Or something.  
GG: Dirk, relax. I've got plenty of new entertaining things to think about. You've already done enough!  
TT: Jane.  
GG: I promise it's fine!  
TT: Okay whatever. You're obnoxiously stubborn I get that.  
TT: At least let me give you this though.  
\--timaeusTestified [TT] sent gutsyGumshoe [GG] the file thanks.mp3--  
GG: What is it?  
TT: Make sure you have headphones in before you play it.  
GG: Oh! You, um...  
TT: Recorded myself. Yeah.  
GG: Goodness I'm getting all red in the face. Are you positive it's alright for me to listen to such a thing?  
TT: Of course. I trust you.  
TT: I'm not exactly the loudest, much less the sexiest. But it's the least I can do for my domme.  
GG: Your...  
GG: Gosh.  
GG: I should probably go.  
GG: But just so we're clear here you are indeed very sexy, Mr. Strider!  
GG: In a friend way I mean!  
GG: Or rather a friends-that-have-imaginary-sex kind of way.  
GG: Obviously not in a way that means I want to actually have sex with you as that is usually what calling a very attractive boy sexy entails.  
GG: But like I said that's not what I mean!!!  
GG: You are very sexy in a very friendly way!!!!!  
TT: Jane, take the recording and go get off.  
GG: Yes, I think that's for the best.  
TT: Heh.  
GG: Shush. Don’t laugh at me. I’m new to all these sensual hubbubs and sexscapades!  
TT: Well you're already a pro.  
TT: Goodnight, Miss Crocker. Sleep well.  
GG: You too! I assure you my dreams will be lovely. ;B  
TT: Only because my rockin' bod will be in them. It'll be haunting you right up until your speech tomorrow.  
TT: Good luck again by the way.  
TT: Oh, and Jane?  
GG: Yes?  
TT: I know I already said it, but thanks.  
\--timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]\--


End file.
